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Impamvu umukobwa mutari mu rukundo cyane yanga ko muryamana

Urukundo ni kimwe mu bintu by’ingenzi umuntu acyenera kandi cyane bityo bigasaba ko buri muntu agira inshuti ye ya hafi yizera kandi mu bikorwa byose igihe, uwo mukundana atakwizeye ntago bigenda neza cyane bityo twabateguriye zimwe mu mpamvu ukundana n’umukobwa ariko mutarajya mu rukundo byimbitse ntiyemere ko muryamana kandi agukunda byimazeyo ukayoberwa impamvu zibimutera zimwe muri izo mpamvu harimo nk’izi zasobanuwe hasi:

Umukobwa agira ubwoba bwo gusama

Benshi mu bakobwa ikintu cya mbere batinya ni ukuba batwara inda batarashaka umugabo kuko biba ari igisebo mu muryango kandi nta shema riri mu kubyara ikinyendaro bityo umukobwa mutarajya mu rukundo cyane ngo umwereke gahunda yo gushinga urugo atakwemerera ko muryamana kuko aba azi ingaruka nyinshi ziva mugusambana cyane cyane nko gutwara inda itateganyijwe.

Igihe umukobwa atarakwiyumvamo cyane

Mu gihe umukunzi wawe mukiri bashya mu rukundo mbese nta gihe kinini mumaranye kugira ngo umukobwa azakwiyumvemo biragoye nubwo bwose aba agukunda ariko ntibimubuza gucyemanga ngo yumve ko harimo ikibazo cyavuka mubaye mu bikoze bityo ntiyemere ko muryamana kandi agukunda byimazeyo bigasaba ko afata igihe kirekire ngo akwiyumvemo kuburyo mwaryamana.

Isoni zo kubikwemerera yumva uri buhite umufata ukundi

Mu rukundo burya hari utuntu tumwe na tumwe ugomba kumenya ku mukunzi wawe iteka ahora akugirira isoni kabone nubwo mwaba muri mwenyine kuko benshi bavuga ko umukobwa iyo muri mubantu ashobora kukugirira isoni bikagutangaza gusa siko biba bimeze umukobwa akugirira isoni bityo bigatuma yanga ko muryama kubera ibibazo byinshi aba yibaza harimo nk’ibi: ese ubu nyuma nituryamana aramfata gute? Ese koko nasanga ntari Isugi arabifata gute? Ese ko numva muri njye bitaranzamo neza mbigenze nte? Ibi byose aba abyibaza atarabibonera igisubizo bityo akakwangira.

Atarabikora kenshi

Umukobwa utararyamana n’umuhungu inshuro irenze imwe aba yumva kuryamana n’umuhungu ari ikibazo kandi nibyo koko birakwiye, bityo akanga ko muryamana kandi muri mu rukundo bikomeye adahwemo kubikwereka uko bwije n’uko bucyeye gusa ntimuryamane kubw’impamvu z’uko atabifiteho ubumenyi buhagije bityo agahitamo kutabikora.

Gutinya ahantu mwahuriye mu gihe atahamenyereye

Mu gihe cyo kubonana n’umukobwa ni byiza ko umujyana ahantu yumva muriwe yisanzuye mbese abona hatuje kandi ahishimiye, ibi bizatuma akwizera ndetse ntacyo uzamuburana gusa kimwe mu bituma umukobwa mukundana washatse ko muryamana ntabyemere kandi muri ahamwenyine biba biterwa n’ahantu mwahuriye ashobora gutinya yumva ko hari uwamubona baziranye, abona atizeye umwanya wamuhaye ngo mubonane mbese yumva mubikoreye aho hantu wamujyanye ataba atuje muri we bityo bigatuma yanga ko muryamana.

Atabyiteguye mu gihe umutunguye

Mu buzima bwa muntu ikintu cyose kiba iyo habaye ho kwitegura neza bityo no kumukobwa ntago yemera ko muryamana umutunguye wenda ngo nuko wumva ko muri wowe ubishaka ndetse akaba ari umukunzi wawe wumva ko muri buhite mubikora gusa bikarangira ntabyo mukoze kubera ko umukobwa Atari yiteguye icyo gikorwa.

Iyo utamuremyemo icyizere ngo yumve ko mwabikora ntibigire ikibazo bitera

Ibiganiro n’igikorwa gihindura byinshi uko gikomeje gukorwa bityo n’umukunzi wawe iyo mutaganira cyane ngo umwereke ko mukwiye kubikora ntago yemera ko mubikora ndetse ntago aba abifiteho ubumenyi buhambaye ngo yumve ko muri we abikoze bikwiye ndetse mwakoresheje ubwirinzi nta kibazo byatera nubwo bwose bitizewe ijana ku ijana, bityo umukobwa yanga ko muryamana mu gihe utaramuganiriza kuri icyo kiganiro ngo umuhe ibitekerezo asobanukirwe neza.

Bitewe n’uburyo umuganiriza ndetse n’uburyo umwitaho bidakwiye

Abakobwa ni abantu bakunda guteteshwa cyane kandi bishimira byinshi gusa iyo nta byishimo agukuraho ntago mwaryamana kuko abikoze nta buryohe yabyumvamo kuko atakwishimiye bityo nk’umukunzi wawe yanga ko muryamana mu gihe abone utamwitayeho utamubaza uko yiriwe niba yagize akabazo umugereho urebe uko byagenze mbese umube hafi icyo gihe utabikoze nta azakwizera ku buryo byagera aho muryamana.

Yumva ko nyuma yo kuryamana umubano wanyu uri bwangirike

Umubano n’igikorwa gikomeye kandi kizihirwa na buri wese iyo byagenze neza, Umukobwa mukundana iyo bitaragera ku ntera ikomeye biragoye ko mwaryamana kuko aba yumva umubano amaze iminsi yubaka uri bupfe cyangwa utaribuhe agaciro igikorwa mukoze kuko nta byinshi arakumenyaho ndetse nawe ari uko, ibyo rero bigatuma atemera ko muryamana kubera afite ubwoba bwo kukubura.

Nkuko tumaze kubona impamvu nyinshi zitandukanye zituma umukunzi wawe atemera ko muryamana, ni byiza ko ubanza kubaka urukundo aho kwihutira kuryamana n’uwo wakunze kugira ngo muzagire byinshi mugeraho kandi byihariye bizabateza imbere mu kava ku ntambwe imwe mukajya kuyindi ishimishije.


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